Monday, February 12, 2018

Comment Wall


Comment Wall for Dungeons & Decisions 


image: Colorful Cube Role Playing Game Play Craps on maxpixel (Web Source) edited by me

31 comments:

  1. Hi Oliver,

    I think it's fair to say that you're going above and beyond with this storybook! I read A LOT of choose-your-own-adventure storybooks as a kid, so I'm excited to see how this one plays out. I think it was especially smart that you've tied a roleplaying game to a roleplaying story style, so it's almost like actually playing DnD. I think I'm most excited to see how the battles go, and I really hope we have the opportunity to mess up and see some bad endings. I also wonder if we'll have the opportunity to be evil in this campaign, which I'd get a kick out of.

    You've already set up a lot of characters in your intro, so I'm excited to see them play out. Will I have to run through as each character, or will there be plenty of interaction in the story? I suppose you'll be the judge of that. Looking forward to this one!

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  2. Hi Oliver! This storybook is so awesome! I love that you are allowed to choose a character - however it would be helpful to give a quick description of each character so the player knows what type of paths they are choosing - and that the storybook is so interactive. Although I understand it is an interactive game, which means it has so many different types of paths and such, it would be informative to have a quick introduction to what is going on at your introduction page. It felt like I was just starting something that I wasn't sure what it was about. I really want to know what else is going on with your storybook! It seems so awesome but I need a little bit more information! Give me a backstory, tell the player why they are going through this, what is going on. I don't know if any of this will be helpful or if how you have set up the storybook is how actual D&D/choose-your-own-adventure works, but I would really like it if you gave some information before we start the game! Overall, awesome work and I really look forward to seeing it completed!

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  3. Hi Oliver!

    Wow, this story is great! There are so many things I loved about it. The first, was the thought of getting to choose your own character. I chose Amber, and I love the character you described her to be. I also love how you allow the reader to choose the fate and decisions of the character. It provides so much connection. It almost felt like I was in a video game instead of reading a story because I could decide how I wanted it to go. I wanted to read through the story as the other characters, but I didn't have the time this week.
    My only critiques would be to explain in a little more detail what exactly D&D is, and how its played. I am not familiar with the game, so some of your details and references didn't register with me. For example, why do the players need laptops? Also, what stuff does each player have when they unpack?
    I love your design and the layout, and I love how you introduced and set up each character. It just might be helpful to incorporate a few more details about the game itself!
    Overall awesome job!!

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  4. Oliver, wow!

    I love that you are writing your storybook as a "Choose Your Own Adventure" game! That's such a unique spin for this assignment, and a throwback to elementary favorites!

    I have enjoyed what I've read so far, although it's certainly very different from other projects I've read for this class. For example, because of the stunted nature of the "Choose You Own Adventure" writing, it was sometimes hard to follow a concise storyline or theme within your introduction. If I had not previously read some of your project proposals, I probably would not have understood what was taking place in your Storybook. Perhaps you could include a more formal and explanatory portion of the introduction or on the homepage of your website.

    Overall, I think that your Storybook is shaping up well, and I cannot wait to see how it continues to grow and evolve over the course of the semester!

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  5. Hey Oliver, all I can say is wow, I am so impressed by your storybook and all that is written is the introduction. It takes me back to when I was younger, I loved to read the "choose your own" stories. I always enjoyed how just by choosing one different character, thought, or saying, it would completely change the fate of the story. I felt the same way when I was reading your introduction, I was on the edge of my seat and excited to see what was next!

    I do think you could add a little paragraph to the actual introduction page to explain a little what your story book consists of. Some people are not familiar with the choose your own stories and may get confused as to what is going on. Also, it would not hurts to go into a little more detail in the introduction just to get everyone on the same page. One question that I had after reading it was "What is D&D?" I feel like you are off to a great start and I am very excited to see what the rest of your stories are like. I wish you the best of luck this semester!

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  6. What an interesting idea! Are you planning on writing an entire campaign using mythology or using Twine (http://twinery.org/) to work through your project? I'm thinking of a journey through the Egyptian Duat or along the Norse World Tree... I think that using this class as the backdrop for the campaign allows the setting to become a character in and of itself. I appreciate the links to the character sheet and handbook, especially as someone who isn't familiar with D&D, because they help me to kind of understand how precisely a D&D world manifests itself. It would be especially helpful moving forward if you continued to link terminology and jargon that readers might not understand so they know where you're coming from. Especially if the D&D website provides such a trove of resources, you might consider linking a glossary or other searchable database of terms to your introduction or at the top of every page.

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  7. Hey Oliver, my name is Jake Compton and I'm from the Indian Epics course, I took this one last semester.
    I love that you are writing your story book with the premise of it being a campaign. I love D&D despite never having been able to find a consistent group to finish a campaign with since I'm not living in Houston with all the people I would play with. It was good of you to give people a rough idea of how D&D works and links to the character sheets and so on. I'll probably use your book as my free one whenever I get to come back to this course. Loved the intro to your story and I hope the rest is a fun read. Good luck to your "party on their campaign".

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  8. Hi Oliver!
    I think that choosing this format will be really cool! I don't know much about Dungeons and Dragons, but it seems like a great premise for a mythology story. Really everything I know about it comes from Stranger Things. How are you going to have the choose your own adventure part work? Will there be links to other pages or you could number paragraphs and be like 'go to number 46'. I think that your introduction was good at explaining the premise and was very informative, a necessary disclaimer, but i think that you could make it more punchy. You could have it be a part of the narrative in some way to draw more people into the story. I like your website, so far the images you have chosen fit well with your theme and I'm excited to hear more from you, to see how this develops throughout the story.

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  9. Oliver, you have the most unique story-telling method I have seen in this class, and it is amazing. It is impressive the amount of time you spent in creating the different story arcs, and it definitely was worth the time to go through each character's story arc and see the different events in each. One thing to take this to the next level would be add some imagery in the choose your own adventure, this would allow the reader to have the pictures right in their mind and add even more depth to this immersive adventure. The only other thing I would suggest is the addition in a preview page of what is expected of the reader. I will admit to looking around for a next page button before realizing I was supposed to click the blue text. I look forward to reading more of your adventures in the future, this unique and exciting format is definitely something I was not expecting in this course.

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  10. Oliver,
    your storytelling technique is amazing! It was super cool getting to choose my story on every page and the whole time I was wondering how you did that! Nice work! I really liked your introduction, it really explained what would be happening throughout your project and explaining the dungeons and dragons terminology was really helpful! I have never played D&D before, so this was helpful for me. I also liked that the amount of text on your pages was short and sweet, it kept my attention and was really effective! I think something that would add another level to your project would be adding some imagery to your pages. Your pictures on your introduction and author's notes pages is very nice and it would be great to just carry that over to your stories! I'm excited to keep reading in the future!

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  11. Hi Oliver! You have gone above and beyond the assignment for this class. I used to read choose-your-own adventure storybooks when I was kid and I absolutely loved reading yours. Your introduction was great in that it told me what was going to be happening so that I would not be caught off guard. I used to play D&D before and your storytelling style was very similar to sitting in a room listening to a DM. I really enjoyed the style in which you displayed your text. I think the black backdrop was a great choice in that it allowed the reader to picture what they were reading without any outside influence. What if in your storybook you linked the introduction and the stories together? That would really help with the immersion since the reader would not have to leave the introduction page and then navigate to your different stories.

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  12. Hi Oliver! I'm really excited to see how different your storybook has gotten since I first saw it. There is so much more detailed explanation that I understand what is going on so much better. You've done a fantastic job reorganizing and adding in functional descriptions of the overall storybook. At the end of the story, there isn't a way to get back to the website. Adding in that link would allow the reader to go back to the rest of the stories/the website in general. The story is really creative, but it feels short but I guess that is because you are only playing one of the characters. As a writer, I would like to see more description but I think that since you are writing in the D&D format, it is probably okay. The wolf didn't feel like it had a huge part in the story, but was simply a side-bit of information. It would have been nice to see more of that creature, how it effects the potential story-arc, but in more detail. Overall, really great work and I can't wait to see what you do next!

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  13. Howdy Oliver,

    You've made some very exciting developments since I last tried out your interactive story. This time, I followed Amber from the introduction through the first story. It was a little confusing that you have the character of Erwin and also the in-game character Erwick (Amber), especially because Amber's side of the story has a lot of references to Erwin.

    I think it's definitely a gift and a curse that the original myth is fractured by the split-storytelling style. On one hand, it gives your story a lot of depth, and on the other hand it means that the story is most rewarding when you explore every character and option which might feel tedious as the storybook grows. It's definitely what makes your story so unique, so I wouldn't give that up despite the challenges it poses.

    I'm looking forward to the rest of this story, especially as the close we come to the conclusion the easier it will be for you to add big choices with heavy impact. Awesome job!

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  14. Hi Oliver!

    First of all, I decided to look into your project because I have not had the chance to look at it, and Wow! There is so much detail and work that you are putting into your project. I started out with the introduction and then went to your first story. I like that your project is so interactive, and you can look at it from several different approaches. I cant't imagine the amount of time and creativity it took to create this, but I have to say it's very impressive.

    While I was doing the first story, in the end I died and was a ghost. I want to come back to your project and see what the other character matches have in store in your project.

    Overall, since this project is so unique and different, I really enjoyed it! I look forward to seeing how it develops as the semester goes on. Good job!!

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  15. Hey Oliver! I am from the Indian Epics class and I am really happy that I randomed into your story! As a D&D player myself I thought it was really cool that you chose this as your theme. The choose your own adventure style really fits well with it. The separate site operates incredibly smoothly. One criticism I have Is that you should consider adding some more background to the character choices for the first story. What races and classes are the characters? What equipment do they have? What spells do they know? Does any of this even matter in the context of the stories? If not, could you make it matter more in the stories? Overall though, I really liked the execution of this project. You should consider being a DM if you aren’t already.

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  16. Hey Oliver!
    This is such an awesome story! Your introduction page and author's note were really helpful in understanding the story. I am a little familiar with dungeons and dragons, but having all the terms laid out like that was very helpful. Your story was so engaging, right from the beginning. My only critique on the introduction is that there's a small type-o on the second to last page where you write "hang" when I think you mean "hand." The first story was awesome. I loved getting to read from different character's perspectives. One critique I have is that with the format of your story, it didn't seem possible to go back and reread. I wanted to go back and check on a fact that I think I overlooked, but didn't find a way to easily do that. Is there a way to make that possible without compromising the mysteriousness of the current format?

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  17. Oliver, I really enjoyed reading your storybook. Since the last time I was on your story book you have definitely improved some things, which is always a positive thing. One of the things that I thought was very helpful was that you provided a sufficient amount of information in the introduction page. This allowed me and I'm sure other readers to really understand the background behind this story book. Also, since I knew what the background information was, I was more interested and intrigued by the stories. Also, it is awesome that you tell the stories from different character perspectives. This is very unique, but you did a really good job at not making it confusing.

    Overall, really great job. I can tell you have put a lot of work into creating this website and it has really paid off. I look forward to visiting it in the future and seeing what improvements you make to the website. Keep up the good work!

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  18. Hey Oliver! I'm from the Indian Epics class and I'm so glad I stumbled onto your story! This is such a cool idea for a storybook and not one that I have seen yet, so awesome job! I'm familiar with D&D but haven't played myself, so I appreciated you laying out the rules and setting so that way I could follow along better. I thought it was neat that you could see the story from the different character's perspectives and you did a really good job keeping everything straight so that there were no discontinuities or anything confusing. I wonder if you could add some pictures to your pages to show the fantasy land/characters/wolf/etc. I think this would be a good way to immerse the reader into the story while still keeping with the theme of it. You did a really great job, it's obvious that you've put a lot of work into developing your characters and finding ways to display the different myths throughout their experiences!

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  19. Hey Oliver! This storybook is insane to say the least. I really like how interactive it is. It makes your pay more attention and actually want to read through it even more. I would not even know how to set up my mine like that haha. I really like how you can pick who to read the introduction from I think that idea is amazing. It gives the reader control and that is what people want. I also really like your cover picture. It follows along with the black and white theme you have going in the introduction. Your first story is great. I like how, once again, you let us pick who we were going to be when reading the story. I really enjoyed it and like how you added the twist of one of the characters dying and becoming a ghost. I thought that was really cool. I look forward to reading your next story.

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  20. Hey there Oliver! I just want to say, I think your storybook is the coolest one I have read so far, in both Myth & Folklore and Indian Epics. I've read at least one other storybook that is D&D inspired, but none that attempt to tell the story through a choose-your-own story format. I can't even imagine how much effort this took to make, but I am glad you did it. It was very easy to get invested into the stories, and without even thinking about it, I read through both the intro and Amarok as all of the players/characters. I did notice a few typos in the introduction for Erwin, just when he arrives at the house for the session. This is just about the only issue I had with your stories, and I am definitely going to be checking back in to see the next stage of the adventure!

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  21. Hey Oliver,

    First of all, wow. Your project is incredible and definitely the most unique one I have read so far. The introduction was incredible, and I definitely felt very immersed in the story. I chose to follow the Erwin path and read through all the introduction paths. Your use of highlighted text to move on in the story was very well done. I can definitely relate to showing up late to DnD sessions, I think I have frustrated several of my friends doing so, haha. There are a few things I noticed in the Erwin storyline. I think there were some typos in parts of the story path. Also, when I got to the end, I wasn’t able to get back to the beginning easy. I think including a “return to start” button or link at the end may be a useful thing to have for your readers. In any case, amazing project! Well done!

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  22. Hey Oliver!

    At first, I was like "Where is his story?" After looking a but closer, I saw the hyperlink and boy was I in for a treat. The "make your own story" approach with the decision making was very well done and really above and beyond! The interface was clean and easy to use. The back button is a little dark and hard to see at first. Also, there should be a "return to homepage" button to make it easy to get back to the central hub for all the links. I can really see the DnD inspiration and especially loved the elipsis that you used to convey a passing of time. Not only have I experienced DnD, but have an iphone app with a very similar decision making structure. It would be neat if certain decisions forced the user back and may even help limit the possible routes. It seemed like there were only a few decisions to be made and they occurred near the beginning and the end. Anyways, awesome story and idea!

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  23. Hi Oliver! I was lucky enough to get your name in the randomizer again so I could read another one of your stories. Your new stories did not disappoint, but did I expect anything else? No. I really like how you kept with your storytelling method that you had in your introduction. I also like how in the last story you changed it up a little bit and had two endings instead of the story from the perspective of other characters. I think that is awesome. It is hard enough to write one good ending, but you managed to have two. I wish this class wasn’t ending so I could come back and read even more stories that with this awesome storytelling technique you have showed us. With that being said, I really enjoyed your storybook and the interactions that came along with it. I might have to check back in before the class ends to see the finished project!

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  24. Hey Oliver! I really think that your whole idea is really cool. the choose your own adventure element is cool, and similar to D & D from what little I know. I really only know about from shelving the books at barnes and noble and watching stranger things. It's a really cool way to incorporate your source material into the structure and plot of the story. The whole thing works really well, I didn't find any links to nowhere or things like that. Its a really unique story and I haven't seen anything like it thus far. Also, props to you for making all the sections work together to form a cohesive story. This could have easily not worked but it did so beautifully. Well done.

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  25. Hey Oliver! First of all, i really loved your site design. It was really clean and easy to navigate. I really loved the idea of your storytelling method! i don't think i ever seen your type of site before. I love your word play of dungeons and decisions. Guessing you are a dungeons and dragons fan? Seriously nice site! Your stories really kept me focused since it was kind of like click and read adventure! The structure of your storytelling was very solid and i loved how you didnt overwhelm each page. Overall, nice idea and execution! Keep up the good work and ill look forward to read more stories from you!

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  26. Hey Oliver! I cam e back to play through your stories again to see if anything has changed. I still love the format. It is so unique and, to be honest, it must have been so much work for it to works fluidly. They pages all work together well. I'm curious, how did you get the site to work? Are they all just separate pages that you link to or is there some more programing happening? It's just fantastic and truly unique. I have never seen this type of storytelling anywhere, even in the old chose your own adventure books it didn't work quite like this. I love your content and how each page functions as an action or direction. It kept it simple, clean and easy to follow even though you have so many moving pieces. Fantastic work. Your story inspired me to go watch stranger things again so thats always a win in my books.

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  27. Hi again Oliver! I have to say once again that this storybook is absolutely awesome! I'm really glad you were able to incorporate some dice rolls into the last story too. It really added to the whole D&D atmosphere! This is definitely the coolest storybook I have read from either class and I just want to thank you for all the effort it must've taken to set this up. It seems like it would be way more than a regular storybook. I don't really have any criticisms, the only thing I was going to complain about after the second story was the lack of dice rolls, but then you added them in the third story. I guess the only other complaint I have is that the stories are over! You might want to try to continue making these, as I think you'd be good at it! I'm sure there's some kind of choose-your-own adventure D&D site that you could lend your talents to!

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  28. I love the theme of your project! I'm a (still relatively new) D&D player, but using it as a project theme is really neat. The image banner fits perfectly for it.

    In terms of the story (Story 3 specifically)... holy crap. This is INCREDIBLE. Making your story a D&D adventure by using rolls and the page-by-page style is great, and the idea of a story crafted by the reader is really neat. I think it would be interesting to give some sort of summary of the other possible results, so that we don't have to read through the same options up until a forking point to see how or whether it changed the story.

    Other than that, the story itself is interesting. All of them get dragged into some dreamscape of sorts, it seems, and then wake up afterwards. And the three people in the dreamscape, including Sedna, are interesting. There's a number of details you mention in the Author's Note that would have been interesting to see more of in the story, but maybe I just chose the wrong choices for that.

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  29. Hi Oliver! I'm from the Indian Epics class. It was really fun to read your stories. I have never played Dungeons and Dragons, but a friend of mine recently joined a group and has been enjoying it.

    Your concept is really interesting, and your choice of a solid black background with white text and blue links for the stories works very well to draw the reader into the story.

    In your introduction I caught a typo when reading as Erwin when he enters the house you write "The sir smells like pancakes..." so you might want to check that out.

    In your second story when the creature is attacking Linyas you say "The huge creature is one you..." instead of on you. This story was intense. I liked the emotional depth it had. The way you talked about Linyas' conflicting emotions was very effective.

    One thing I noticed was that I didn't realize I could use my browser's back button to exit the story and return to the main site. You might consider adding a subtle button that exits the story or add something to your introduction's author's note.

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  30. Hey Oliver!
    Your project is incredible! I think it is amazing how much work and creativity you put into this project. I have to give you mad props. This is just wonderful. It is so creative and making the story interactive was just so much fun. I wish I had the time to go through and do all of the options to see the different paths. This is seriously fantastic. I hope you continue to write in the future, because you have talent.

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  31. Hey Oliver! It would be helpful if you added a way to go back to the main site at the end of the story, just because there isn't a simple way to return to it and read the rest of the stories. I really like how you have continued to make this story. It is so interesting and the continuous clicking of links keeps the reader engaged instead of just scrolling through a story. There could be more detail in the little character's point-of-views but it all really depends on if you want them to. I think your story has turned out really great and the overarching theme is super awesome. It's just that some of the lines are super short, and more detail could help a reader visualize everything more accurately or clearer.

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