Feedback Thoughts

Why rejection hurts so much — and what to do about it by Guy Winch

I picked this article based off of it's title because I am definitely someone who has struggled with taking rejection in the past. Winch's main points (Have Zero Tolerance for Self-Criticism, Revive Your Self-Worth, and Boost Feelings of Social Connection) were really amazing tactics that I have not heard before. I think the third section, "Boost Feelings of Social Connection, is what can really help me control the feeling of rejection in the future. I know when I feel rejected, my first instinct is to close myself off to anyone and everyone because I'm hurt and in a bad mood, but if I talk to someone I love about my rejection, or even just about something else, I can build my confidence back up. 

The Psychology of Comparison and How to Stop by Ellen Jackson

Another thing I fall victim to a lot is comparing myself to others. As Ellen Jackson explains, when we are feeling inadequate, we seek out others' progress to see how we stack up. The biggest piece of advice that I took from this article is one I have heard before, but just haven't taken to heart: "Don't compare your beginning with someone else's middle." I do this, more often than I like to admit, and it really does put a damper on my creative process. My "favorite" thing to do it to compare myself to artists who have been practicing far longer than I have, or writers who have been writing longer. This is sort of a public promise to myself that I'm going to stop all of that and focus on bettering myself, not comparing with others.

(Feedback by MorganK)

 What are the most productive feedback experiences you can remember?

The most productive feedback experience in my college career so far is probably the feedback I received on papers in my Expository Writing class. My professor would take the drafts of our papers and just go to town marking them up. He would point out things we did well, small things like spelling errors, and larger things like derailed trains of thought or ambiguous points. This sort of criticism was beneficial for me because I wasn't just told I did something wrong, it was explained to me. Another reason this feedback worked so well is because we had the opportunity for one-on-one meetings to discuss it, which helped clear up any misconceptions on either of our parts.

The most negative?

Some of the most negative feedback I have received, not necessarily in college, has been vague criticisms about my creative projects. I love to draw, paint, write, you name it, and usually when I'm done with a piece I'm particularly fond of, I show it off. Some of the most hurtful criticism I have received has been about these sorts of things whenever someone just says they don't like it, or give a half-hearted "eh" but don't explain why. It hurts to hear that someone doesn't like something you poured into of course, but if someone is going to criticize my work, I'd much rather they give me tips about what I could do better next time. 

What kinds of feedback have helped you to grow as a learner in your extracurricular activities? 

The extra curricular where I have gotten the most helpful feedback is probably from when I did karate for 6 1/2 years. This, again, had to do with the nature of the feedback which was one-on-one and I could make the changes immediately. I'm not really a fan of receiving criticism in front of others because it makes me extremely nervous and anxious. However, feedback given more privately is perfect for me because I feel comfortable enough to ask questions about specifics and how I can improve in the future.